Old ≠ Weak, Frail, or Incapable

The senior center I work for is moving into a new building, and it’s been an undertaking of packing, storing, and relocating. I've witnessed many of our volunteers and members stepping up to donate their time and energy to the move.

One of the most invaluable helpers is John, an 84-year-old gentleman who has been deeply involved in managing and scheduling the entire move, showing up almost daily. Many days I find him moving items out of the old building, shuttling things to storage, and making runs to the thrift store. John genuinely loves to help, and he knows his capabilities. He volunteers to haul boxes, furniture, and whatever else needs moving.

What's frustrating is witnessing the constant unsolicited "help" he receives from younger members and volunteers. Time and again, I’ve seen John effortlessly moving an object only for someone, usually younger, to rush over and say, "I can get that," or "You don't need to lift that, I've got it." On one occasion, a younger member looked at me and asked, "Why are you letting John move these things?"

Let's unpack that. John is a grown man who is perfectly aware of his own capabilities and genuinely wants to contribute. He's surrounded by helpers, and I’ve seen him ask for assistance when he needs it. He enjoys the physical act of lifting and hauling these items; it’s how he likes to help out. So, yes, I "allow" him to do so and I don't get in his way.

This brings us to another subtle, yet pervasive, way ageism shows up in our society. It's the assumption that people of a certain age "shouldn't" be lifting heavy objects or engaging in strenuous physical tasks. I, for one, applaud John's efforts.

John isn't someone who frequents a gym. Much of his physical activity comes from helping out with a local newspaper, loading trucks, and distributing papers throughout the community. This is how he chooses to stay active, and I will not impede that. Of course, if I ever genuinely believed something was unsafe, I would step in. But if he wants to carry and haul a box, I will load him up!

Being "old" does not automatically equate to being weak, frail, or incapable. When we constantly feel the need to "help" older people with physical tasks they are perfectly willing and capable of doing, we're not truly helping. We're inadvertently communicating, "I don't think you can or should be doing this, so I'm going to 'help' you." More importantly, we're getting in the way of them maintaining their physical abilities and sense of purpose.

Let them do the things they know they are capable of doing.