A Culture of Age Siloing

From the moment we enter school, we’re grouped by age. That continues through summer camps, sports leagues, and even into adulthood—where we see entire neighborhoods, clubs, and activities segmented by generation. It’s a practice so normalized, we rarely question it. But this “age siloing” can quietly reinforce ageism.

Why Intergenerational Connection Matters

When my nephew was a toddler, he loved going to the playground because he was mesmerized by the older kids. He’d watch them closely, taking in how they climbed, jumped, and played, and then he’d mimic them. At his daycare, he didn’t have access to older kids, so the playground became his classroom for learning from those just a little further ahead.

This pattern doesn’t end with childhood. We’re constantly observing others who are navigating life stages ahead of us—whether it's raising teenagers, dealing with career transitions, or caring for aging parents. These aren’t just moments of observation; they’re opportunities to learn, empathize, and prepare for what lies ahead. But when generations are siloed, we lose those organic moments of connection.

Choosing Community Over Separation

I live in a neighborhood with many retirees who moved to Colorado to be closer to their kids. Many of them state they check out active adult communities but decided they didn’t want to live in one.  I often hear the same thing: “We wanted to be around people of all ages.”

Even though they were no longer raising children, they wanted the interaction and energy of being near young families. One woman in her late 70s told me she left her longtime church because it was made up entirely of older adults. “I wanted to worship in a space where I saw babies, teens, and young adults. I didn’t want to be in a bubble.”

What Happens When We Don’t Mix?

In my work teaching exercise classes at a senior living community, I see firsthand how rare genuine intergenerational interactions are. Most of the younger people in the building are staff—and while they may be kind and caring, their roles are transactional. They’re there to provide care, not companionship.

So I wonder, what’s the emotional and social toll of not being regularly exposed to younger generations? And what do younger people lose by not spending meaningful time with elders?

Without intentional opportunities to connect, we default to friendships and communities that mirror our own age. It’s comfortable, but it’s limiting. We miss out on shared wisdom, fresh perspective, and a broader understanding of life’s journey.

Rebuilding the Bridge

How do we begin to fix it? We start by asking: Are we unintentionally siloing people by age in our programs, services, or communities? And if so—why? Is it truly necessary to separate exercise classes by age group? Why do “senior centers” exist instead of inclusive community centers? How did we arrive at a point where senior living and active adult communities became billion-dollar industries? Are these systems a reflection of genuine needs—or of a culture that defaults to separation by age?

To dismantle ageism, we must create more spaces where generations mix naturally where they move, learn, and grow together.